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When it comes to MILO, the chocolate malt drink loved the world over, many people have their own take on how it should be enjoyed.
Over here in Southeast Asia, it's common to find the drink mixed in with some condensed milk and sugar, and of course, people like to drink it either piping hot or ice cold.
Another common variant is iced MILO from the beautiful green MILO truck that magically appears at school events in Malaysia. Many people have tried (and failed) to replicate this MILO truck recipe at home.
IMAGE: MILO Malaysia
Unknown to many, MILO is an Australian product through and through, no matter how 'Southeast Asian' you try to make it.
Regardless of its origins, we all tell ourselves it comes from Southeast Asia anyway.
This hilarious tutorial on how to make MILO by Fairbairn Films is exactly how we wish we could 'drink' the chocolatey malt beverage.
Comprised of three Australian content creators – Jaxon and Lachlan Fairbairn (brothers), as well as Darcy Ahrens – Fairbairn Films revels in the deadpan nature of comedy, pushing out videos that are strangely relatable, even if we've never been in the situations portrayed.
Their MILO tutorial, titled 'How to correctly make a Milo', is chock-full of worldly knowledge about the drink. Despite the comedy, you might actually learn a thing or two:
The YouTube video was posted way back in May 2020, and has since garnered well-over 2.8 million views at the time of writing. This writer personally believes it deserves much more than that.
If, for some reason, you can't watch the insightful tutorial above, here's a recap.
The video starts off with Lachlan preparing himself a nice glass of MILO. He does it the way most Australians do – fill up a glass with milk and add a couple spoonfuls of MILO powder on top. Nice. Not how we Southeast Asians do it, but we can't tell the home nation of MILO how to enjoy their own creation, right?
Jaxon then walks in and is shocked to see what Lachlan has done, telling him he's doing it all wrong. Apparently Lachlan's milk-to-MILO ratio is off.
Jaxon then starts his masterful tutorial:
"You're gonna need one of these bad boys." IMAGE: Fairbairn Films / YouTube
"Firstly, this (holds up teaspoon) is too small. You're gonna need one of these bad boys (whips out a tablespoon)," says Jaxon. "Secondly," he says, as he holds up three fingers, "MILO first, then the milk."
Okay, sounds simple enough so far.
Lachlan, who disagrees with the order, calls it a "war crime", but it falls on deaf ears as Jaxon proceeds to put healthy (table) spoonfuls of MILO powder into an empty glass. Nine generous spoonfuls to be exact.
"This is the Australian way." IMAGE: Fairbairn Films / YouTube
Visibly worried about the copious amount of MILO being added into the still-milkless glass, Lachlan shouts at Jaxon, hoping to knock some sense into him, only to be told to "shut your mouth".
"This is the Australian way," assures Jaxon, in a sudden bout of patriotism.
After nine spoonfuls of MILO powder are added into the glass, Lachlan (understandably puzzled) asks Jaxon how he's even going to drink the MILO, now that the glass is overflowing with powder.
Because two tablespoons of milk are more than enough. IMAGE: Fairbairn Films / YouTube
"Drink it?" Jaxon wonders out loud. "Oh yeah, the milk."
"Uh, so now we do two tablespoons of milk," he says, as if it were a mere afterthought. The entire formula? Nine parts MILO, two parts milk. But according to Jaxon, "Pros do no parts milk."
The rest of the video reveals some real truths we probably never thought to confront.
For example, when Lachlan criticizes Jaxon's take on what a MILO should be, saying it's "just MILO with a bit of milk in it", Jaxon's rebuttal of said statement speaks millions of truths.
"That's because it's called a MILO, it's not called a Milk," he begins, adding that "You don't buy a salad and expect it to be only 20 percent salad." Holy shit, he's right.
Perhaps referencing the beverage's energetic properties, Jaxon claims that "they" don't want people like us to know how to truly enjoy MILO solely due to the fact that we might rise up and overthrow the government. Who knew a malt energy drink was capable of such ideological influence?
The comments under the YouTube video honestly warrant their own story. But here are some that I personally loved:
Because people who insist on diluting their MILO are just uncultured swines. IMAGE: YouTube
Innovative. IMAGE: YouTube
Though the Southeast Asian way is far superior to Milk+MILO, nothing beats going RAW MILO. IMAGE: YouTube
That's why MILO comes in a tin. You can take it everywhere, and it's more likely to survive a car accident. IMAGE: YouTube
Jokes aside, I can't be the only one who wishes I could just eat dry MILO powder without having my motives questioned.
Check out Fairbairn Films on YouTube.
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Cover image sourced from Fairbairn Films / YouTube and Periuk.my.